- 4 July, 20164 July, 2016
One of the first things I learned when I studied English at University was that I should capitalize titles when I write essays. Since I learned it, it has stuck, I haven’t clearly not mastered it yet but that’s a different story. I try to use my titles to summarize the content of the post. For todays post it might be difficult though, so let’s stick with three different sections.
Rationality and Bipolar Disorder
Most of the content of today is inspired by reading a couple of
books, and in particular the bestseller Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. Although I still have a couple of chapters left to enjoy, it has taught me a lot and given me a lot of insight. Every single individual on this earth make questionable decisions, but with mania it kinda gets a bit worse. I’m in some BPD support groups on Facebook and saw a picture that spoke to me and got me thinking (you can read it below)
So yeah, making shitty decisions suck, that’s just the way it is for everyone. I want to develop as a human being and part of that is clearly making better decisions, mania can make me far too impulsive for my own good and that’s something I wanna change. I’m not going to bore you with theories now though, I’ll inform you once I have found something that works for me. However, just by reading the aforementioned book by Dan Ariely I’ve changed the way I think, so that’s something I recommend to everyone.
Closing Doors — To Achieve Width You Have to Sacrifice Depth
Back to the title instantly — we all have a ton of goals and dreams, we want to learn new languages and know about fields of sciences, but we don’t have to time for everything — so in order to be able to learn new languages and read a ton of books on various subjects you’re sacrificing your deep understanding in a certain field.
I have many doors open, things to do and learn. But I’m going to slam the doors shut and focus on my main objective, namely, mastering the field of Psychology. Oh and FYI, blogging is not a door I’m going to shut 🙂
“I’d Rather Feel Pain than Nothing at all”
A friend asked me what kind of meds I’m on right now, and I answered him that I have a shit ton that I should take, but I’m not. Why? As of now, I get by anyway. I don’t want the side effects that gives me a moonface, makes my mind numb and unfocused. Isn’t this kind of ironic that I wrote about thinking rational, and here I’m telling you about how I’m just not taking the meds that doctors prescribed to make me feel better?
Allow me to explain my reasoning. And I want to start with telling you that if I feel unbearable pain, have too many bloody stools, feel that my mind is spiralling out of control or get depressed I will talk to a doctor and take my meds.
Okay, so as I’ve mentioned already, there’s a ton of side effects that would make my life horrible. And yes, I realize I won’t experience them all, but even the common effects would make my life quality worse compared to going to the toilet 10-15 times a day and having some pain. Another thing I have to consider is that the medicine will not work right away when I need them in the future. So I have to accept that sometimes my life will be shitty (literally and figuratively) and that I can’t do anything immediately.
If you have a strong allergy, you might have one of those emergency sticks that will help you if you’re exposed to something that might threaten your health. I try to live the same way as a person that’s allergic and not pop 15 pills a day.
Disclaimer: I know that this might be extremely stupid of me, but I want to try this way. I am going to take my medicine in the future and I do realize that psychiatric medication is one of the best tools to improve health.
- 28 June, 201628 June, 2016
So I’ve had a nice weekend with some friends, drinking on the countryside both friday and saturday. But it got pretty emotional during the saturday morning.
My phone died and my family didn’t know where I were, and my mother had found a suicide note that I wrote about four months ago. Obviously this is a tough situation to handle, my family panicked and tried to get ahold of my friends. But they didn’t really keep track of their phones because some were sleeping and the others were hungover. When I finally found out that they were trying to reach me, I called them and was informed about the situation. I tried my best to calm them and told them right away that it’s an old note and that I’m better now.
It’s pretty ironic that I wrote about burning that note, but I actually explained to them how I felt about keeping it:
I know that I’m going to go through a hard depression again in the future, I’ve survived it several times now and I want to make that a good habit. I’ve been considering if keeping it will help me go through depressive episodes, but I’m uncertain.
Anyway, this is kind of what I want to talk about in a nutshell. Even though I’ve been suicidal, made up a plan and wrote a suicide note, I’m still here on earth and feeling better.
I want to be a Voice for Hope. Because I know a ton of you go through depressions, whether you suffer from Bipolar, UC or anything else. I know that unfortunately, it is very common. But that does not mean you can’t get better 🙂
For the past year I’ve been seeing my therapist once a week and it helped me massively when I were depressed. I didn’t really feel it back then, but I feel it now and appreciate the help I recieved.
So, if you’re feeling depressed, please get help. It will help you.
The Vegan Diet
I might have mentioned that I’ve changed my diet plan, I’m not only trying to eat healthier, but I’m also excluding any animal products from my diet.
How’s it been? I started two weeks ago. I feel no urge to eat meat or anything like that at all, so it’s been extremely good and I’m feeling confident in this diet. I’ve discovered that I can’t really drink coffee anymore, which means I’ll have to look into eating food that contains a lot of energy, and obviously working on optimizing my sleep.
I want to thank you for reading, I saw statistics that indicated that I’ve gained some more readers. Welcome to everyone!
You can follow me on Twitter and Snapchat
- 22 June, 201622 June, 2016
I wanna start with apologizing, I’ve been ranting and mentioning how much I want to blog and improve. Yet I always fail to come back the day after with the posts that I promise. I’m truly sorry if I let someone down.
So what’s this talk about being a full time blogger? That’s the problem I’m having right now, I feel passionate about blogging. I think about it a lot and try to find new ideas, concepts and ways to develop and create a nice community. But that takes a lot of time.
I don’t want to make mediocre posts, I feel that my readers deserve better. I’m strange like that, I either go all-in or don’t do it all. But I’m going to change!
Some people say that blogging is dead, what started as something called “weblogging” and was later shortened to just “blogging” — which we know it as today — was massive when Google bought Blogger and turned it mainstream. You could find blogs about every subject, no matter what you were looking after. Now there’s other platforms to use to spread information and create communities to talk to.
But I still believe in blogging, and feel that we can achieve great things together. What do we want to achieve? The best possible health and great personal development. How are we going to do this?
Hard work is essential to make this word, mainly from my side. I will put in a lot more time and effort, but this might also mean that the subjects won’t be narrowed down to only UC and IBD. Even though I enjoy writing about improving health, I need to take breaks from thinking about what sometimes are disabilities for me.
Book Club Community
With the previous being said, I want to announce that we’re going to start a book club together. We’ll read and discover great books that we’ll discuss here. Just kidding. But I like reading and I will include it more in my blogging.
Here’s the book that I started reading yesterday, I’ve almost finished it but I like it so far.
To summarize, it’s a bit of philosophical on the subject of education and the importance of adapting to the quickly advancing technology. I recommend it, and I’ll mention it again once I’ve finished reading it.
Burning Suicide Note
I’ve made a post about being suicidal in the past, and I’ve been suicidal again after that. I made a plan and jotted down a note to leave behind for the world to read so that they would hopefully understand what kind of darkness I were in. I found it during an insomniac night and started crying when I read it. It’s horrible that people feel that there’s no other way out.
Grabbing a lighter and just setting it on fire is tempting, it would be quite symbolic of my improved mental health. However, I doubt it is temporary, and maybe it could be more useful if I can learn something from keeping it? Maybe I can keep it and write something about it now that I’m feeling better and put it away so I can read it if I’m in that kind of darkness again.
Oh, speaking of lighters, I’ve said that I would quit smoking several times. And I’ve finally managing to quit, it didn’t even take effort. I ran out of money and felt that I simply didn’t need it in my life as there were more important things to use the small amount of money I would get every month.
Tons of good stuff today, eh?
I’m going to bed soon, working at McDonald’s again to make money to save for my University experience. But we’ll talk more about that in the future. All right? I’ve got more exciting stuff to announce shortly, stay tuned!
Have a nice day 🙂
- 15 June, 201615 June, 2016
Hello dear friends!
I haven’t blogged for a couple of months, as you might have nrticed. Before my break I was in a deep depression and was longing for the end of it, because even if everything felt like shit, I knew it would end eventually.
Now is the time for the end, I can’t really tell if I my mind is just normal right now or if I am hypo-manic. Nevertheless, I am feeling a lot better than I did before and I even started working again.
That’s not all though, I started working out and I changed my diet plan drastically. I am making a healthy change and challenging myself to try out the vegan life for as long as I can.
Half of 2016 has passed, wouldn’t this be a perfect opportunity to look back at the six months that has passed? I think so too!
On New Year’s Eve I composed a blog post about the things I am excited about during this year, so let’s start with looking at that.
So for 2016 I mainly wanted to develop myself and my life, I looked forward to cool projects, adopting a healthier lifestyle, studying for a career, developing my writing skills and this blog — you can read more about this in the post I’m writing about.
Indirectly, I have started studying for a career, I still need to get a good result on the SAT to start studying the Psychologist Programme and I am working on the skills that are needed to ace the test.
Furthermore, I have also adopted a healthier lifestyle, I work out and eat healthier. But that’s not all, I’ve got a custom made calendar made for my needs, I will use it to improve the rate I develop myself at.
There are still no cures for Bipolar Disorder or Ulcerative Colitis, I still struggle with both of these diseases. It feel better today, but that’s because I’m not depressed or in a bad UC flare-up. Since I will be accompanied by these diseases for the rest of my life, one of my lifelong goals will be to manage and live with them in the best possible way. The point of this blog is to help others and spread information about how I cope with UC and BPD. I go more in-depth in the next section.
The Future of This Blog
If you’ve been here with me for a while, you might think that my actions have spoken and that there is no future for this blog. If that is the case, I want to thank you for still being here and gladly say that you’re wrong.
I ended the last section about mentioning that I want to help other people to improve their life quality. And that is want I truly want to do with this blog. Let’s discuss how I am going to do this.
Mainly by being a good rolemodel and sharing information about how I change things in a positive way I’ll try to inspire and motivate you. I know that being sick can be an extreme struggle for you, it is for me too sometimes. But it has also motivated me a great bit. When I thought I had bowel cancer I was relieved when I found out it was “only” Ulcerative Colitis. It’s bad enough to be affected by this disease, but I still found some relief with the diagnosis, I still have time to do things I want to do and even to find out what I want to do.
Secondly, I will also try to use other platforms to spread information in a better way. Writing might not be suitable for everything, maybe I need to use YouTube and Twitter more? I will experiment with other platforms and see what works.
Thirdly, I will listen to you. I will actively seek feedback from my readers and try to solve problems that you have together with you. I want to be a driving force for better health and a better world. You’re always welcome to contact me if there’s anything you want to say or discuss. I accept all kinds of feedback on whatever might have crossed your mind.
I don’t want to bore you to death though, so I’ll conclude this post now 😉
Thank you for reading, I’ll see you here tomorrow or on Twitter!
- 16 April, 201616 April, 2016
Hey, I mentioned that I would share my plan for the future in the aspects of getting healthier and achieving my goals. Well the way it works is pretty simple, and everyone should do it, even if you are healthy already.
This is how it works:
I have a journal that I fill in, in this book there’s room for 5 years, but obviously there’s bigger books with a 10-year range. Or you could do it digitally in excel or something similar. That is the easy part. The hard part is first defining exactly what you should do and having the self-discipline to do that every time you need to do it.
There’s soooo much material that can help you with developing yourself. There are lots of books and audiobooks, courses, motivational videos, podcasts and much more that can help you with doing what you need to do. My favorite book is Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy. Brian has taught me a lot of things. It’s not a guide on how to eat frogs, the frogs are something that you should do but you procrastinate. This book also taught me one of my favorite quotes:
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
However, nothing is easy when you’re sick. But when I had no bipolar or ulcerative colitis flare-up I managed to figure out what I want to do in the future. I want to study to become a psychologist. Knowing that makes it easier when I’m depressed or having a UC flare-up, I still know what I want to do and know that there’s a good future for me if I work for it. It’s not easy, but it’s something that helps me.
I usually nag a hole in my friends head about this, I ask them what they want to do in the future and if they don’t know I’ll keep telling them to figure it out. I know it’s not easy, odd circumstances made me find my desired path, or maybe fate? But there’s ways to help you.
Remember when you were a kid and someone asked you what you want to be when you’ve grown up? Imagine that you still haven’t grown up (I know I haven’t) and I’m asking you what you want to be when you grow up.
Use your imagination and write down things that come up. When you’ve written down enough occupations to satisfy, start doing research. Why did your imagination come up with these answers? Is there a fat and attractive paycheck? If yes, how’s the job? Do you know someone that works with this? Then ask them! What will you need to do to work with that? There’s plenty of information on the internet, which I’m sure you’re able to find.
I’ll end this with some personal stuff, I’m on sick leave until the end of may. During the summer I’m going to learn danish and academic writing in university. I got some more medicine to treat my depression, so now I’m on Seroquel and Sertraline. Let’s hope that this can make me feel better 🙂
Thanks for reading! I hope that you’re feeling all right and maybe even got some motivation from reading this post.
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